Toasty's blog

Rage against the machine rocks !
listen close to the lyrics and of course enjoy the end of a great movie.

Im leaving today to start a new trucking job in Murray, Ky with Paschall truck lines WHOO HOO .34 cents per mile @ average 2100 miles per week = yeah
WHOO HOO, i will use my money to jump start this fawked up econo
situation.

Scotty is getting custody of his babygirl cuz baby's mother isnt a fit
parent, hopefully Scotty will be a good dad and raise her to
have self esteem and be a strong girl who looks to herself for approval
and acceptance and not various men like her mother (no offense
Scotty or Lillian) no one's perfect. And i look foreward to spoiling her with
gifts and money.

Well I gotta 4 hr drive, gotta blaze peeps.
Laterz -won rof nadroJ

I dont want to be dramatic but this relates to how i feel
so, I've always loved this song because it obviously embraces
and supports the idea of a person having the guts to stand up
for what they know is right even if it means taking they're own
life. It wasn't written for Kurt Cobain it was about that guy
Budd Dywer who shot himself on camera, because he was wrongfully
accused of basically stealing/embesseling a crapload of money
hundreds of thousands of dollars,
like a corporate greed type thing, but it was actually other people
that did it and he just got screwed over and took the heat for it
(from what I understand, do ur own research) he was innocent!
and he was about to be put in prison for 55 years and charged
some outrageous fine. So he shot himself to defy it all.
I guess some would say well having more guts would be to just go to prison
and try an survive and prove them wrong later but sense we live in the great AMERICA where the judicial system is FUCKED!!!
I got to hand it to him....

-- The song became notorious, as it was believed to be honoring the January 22, 1987, public suicide of Pennsylvania state treasurer Budd Dwyer, who shot himself during a press conference with a .357 magnum. A May 1996 interview with Filter in Addicted to Noise magazine and an official statement by the band confirmed this. Filter later gave the following statement:

::ATTENTION this is a little graphic read w/ caution::

I feel a little proud tonight
I was in a great mood today,
then I decided to take a walk down to the gas station to
buy some grapefruit juice (grapefruit dramatically increases
the amount of estrogen in the blood which is a good thing )
and as I was walking by this car load of what looked like
young 18 to 20 yr old guys 4 of them, tough lookin and I think
a girl was in the car, I walked right by the car and I heard one of em yell:
'FAG" and i couldn't tell if they were yelling it at me, as they
could have been just messin around w/ 1 another, So I cont.
on down the street only looking back in their car kinda suspectfully
then when i got down almost to the end of the street i heard
1 of em yell: "sumthin, sumthin FAG" at that point I knew they were
talking to me, and i got a lil pissed at
that bcuz i was happy but now bitchy bcuz of the idea of
4 big guys and a chick messin with a person who's ALONE
(who still looks like a young man but is really a girl= i give them the benefit of the
doubt for that ignorance) but even if i was some fag
which im sure thats what most people think of me anyway
would none the less piss anyone off, so I thought:
"fuck it im walkin back and one
of em better get out and back that BS up" i walked back towards they're car
looking right at em, and stopped about 3 trailer lengths from the car in the middle of the street and just stood their, staring at em, with
kind of a serious but calm expression, and i stood there about 15 full seconds, thinking: 'im about to kick somebody's ass or take an ass beatin,
either way Im fine with it nothin like a good blow to the face to
get the adrenaline cookin plus it makes ya tougher"
( 15 sec. is a long time in a heat of the fight moment kinda way - considering
all hours/years one spends on martial arts training in the end comes

I guess my resolution (which this is probably not the appropriate place to post it)
is to come into myself alot more than the past year, and complete a few goals for myself,
surgically/emotionally/hair'illy (not a word )
and educationally, and not give a fawk! what another person's judgement's are on them.
I'll only accept the good one's, (if I like you).
And take my mother and brother to south Florida for a vacation if i can afford it.
What better way to kick it off than to tell my sexually repressed/idealistic conservative
aunt in California about me being a Transexual! 09 will be a fun trip!
Hugs and Jager-bomb's to all!

-Jordan

I've always been thankful for the way nature singled me out
Its the people who have been deformed by society that i feel sorry for.
-Sissy Hankshaw, Even cowgirls get the blues

I luv this line.

I've always loved this scene from Kill Bill vol. 2, it made me cry even once,
because her character is so hated, and beaten and treated like complete dirt
for no good reason, and she wakes up from this coma to discover her baby taken out of her womb and gone
and she recieves info that she cant have anymore, and of course her husband (or boyfriend)
is dead and she feels such loss, even with all that, and being buried alive she still finds
the strength within herself, to love her self and complete her goal, eah it's revenge but
thats not always a bad thing, so she digs her self out and of it all, rises from nothing and theres
something about that I relate to myself and real people in our lives, and it really touches me.
Thats what a true hero is.
-Jordan
thank you QnU!